Earlier, this afternoon I was too preoccupied preparing a new patient for dialysis. I greeted the patient courteously, but in a brief manner. The patient seemed pretty gloomy today.I was too eager to assess the patient and started wheeling him inside the centre. His face still remained solemn.
I was in abit of hurry and quickly positioned the patient for dialysis.
Suddenly he started crying when i was about to needle him. On impulse, I disposed the needle and started asking him what happened. He was reluctant to tell initially but eventually he did.
He expressed how he has been fighting for his flat with his ex wife. Previously, he was pleading for a lighter jail term for his son. He has been battling kidney failure since 1998.
And today,he lost everything. His son will be serving his jail term today. He lost his home today. He will be going to an old folks' home after dialysis today.
He pleaded with me to help him.
He said, I FOUGHT FOR THE HOME SO THAT MY SON COULD STAY THERE WHEN HE'S OUT. ALL I'M ASKING IS THAT THEY DON'T TAKE AWAY MY HOME FROM ME. I RATHER DIE AT HOME. PLEASE PRAY FOR ME. I REALLY DON'T WANT ALL THIS KIDNEY FAILURE. PLEASE TELL ME EVERYTHING THAT IS STILL OKAY. I DON'T WANT TO BE A BURDEN ANYMORE. I WANT TO LEAVE THIS WORLD,PEACEFULLY. I NEED YOUR PRAYERS..
I was stunned. He was so desperately asking for help and assurance from nurses he barely knew. I instinctively looked at his face and was saddened to see as he was already shedding tears. Then,his message, his plea... dawned on me, I felt guilty for being so insensitive that I didn't even bother to introduce myself and I didn't even care to ask him how he felt for the day just because I wanted to manage my time.
Sometimes, we tend to be so self-centered that what we do is aimed at mere self-gratification. Sometimes, we just have to think outside the box. If we just look beyond our own horizon, beyond our own trials and hardships, we'll find people who are going through bigger problems and who are trying to endure more difficult situations compared to us, and so thus, we realize that no matter what we've been through, and what are going through in life, we're lucky. We're lucky because even in the mere sense that we could breathe comfortably and sleep painlessly, We should be thankful. With this, we should be more grateful.
- Faey
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