There are so few things that I understand about how to properly live a life. Am I always going to mess everything up? Do I just rationalize my poor decisions? Do I always make things harder for others? I am always too much of something. When will I learn? I am not someone you should love. I am someone to steer clear of. I will complicate everything. I hate these parts of myself. Are there any good parts even left inside? Were there ever any to begin with?
Been nursing my fever and the nosebleeds at work for the past one week. Work's not making my days any better.
Maybe it's better for me not to tell anyone my story. I will only end up feeling more rejected. People cannot give you what you long for in your heart. The more I expect from people's response to my experience of abandonment,the more I will feel exposed to ridicule.
I just wish....you were here.
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